Fear of failing my students

I have been thinking about this blog post for some time. I didn't know how to start it, or how to say what I was thinking. I had written a few different openings, and then selected the whole thing to delete. I have decided it is most important to be honest.

I am scared of failing my students. I am scared that I am not preparing them for the future. I am scared that I don't have enough time with them to get them to be ready. The future is ever changing  so how can we as teachers ever be sure that we are preparing the students?

I am trying to remember what happened to me in high school to prepare me to be a successful adult, and I am drawing a blank (it has been almost 15 years since I graduated...yikes).

Now, I know that I am trying. I know that I am not alone. I know that I am making progress. But I also want to let teachers know that they are not alone. I know some people are scared to incorporate new technology or to try new things in the classroom, like flipping their class, or giving more student control, so I want them to know it is ok to try and fail. It is better to try and fail, because then we are making our best attempt to prepare our students.

If we don't try new things, and continue to live in the bubble of "its what I have always done" then we can be sure we are failing our students. If we don't push ourselves out of our comfort zones, how can we expect our students to do the same?

When I get scared, I think of the times my students have made progress, big or small. I go through my saved emails from the students. I remember the times they drew their own conclusions that I would have never thought of. I look at the projects on the wall, both physical in my classroom and virtual walls, and reflect on how far they have come through the years. I think of the projects they chose to do that I would have never come up with, like the stop animation, sock puppets, songs etc.

When I get scared I remember I am doing my best. I go on twitter and find new ideas and share my concerns with my #PLN. I look for their advice. I look for their guidance.

When I get scared I make sure I remember to reflect. I go back and write about what I have done that has worked or hasn't worked. I figure out why it didn't work and I make adjustments. I blog. I share my concerns with my husband who is also and educator.  I try to remember that their are skills that remain constant, and those are thinking and questioning skills that they can use forever. I also know that it is about the respect, trust and relationships the students build in the classroom, with fellow students and with me. Those relationship skills are important for their future, and can not be taught by a text book, but only with modeling.

When I get scared, I back up. I take a few moments, minutes, hours, days, to myself. I know that I can't be any service to my students if I burn out.

When I get scared, I don't give up. I don't say it is easier to hand out worksheets and book work and accept the status quo. I don't do this because then I will know that I have failed. When I stop growing I fail.